Another week has come and gone. I finished the first draft of a novel I’ve been working on and I’m taking a little break before starting up the next big project. For me, breaks mean writing and working on short stories. And it’s from one of these that I’m drawing my six for this week.
The narrator’s wife had a cough in July. This scene takes place in the first week of August.
I stood in a pit of my own; dark, like the grave beneath her, only deeper.
I didn’t even feel stunned. That feeling had already come and gone three weeks before, when I sat with my wife of nine years and we listened to a doctor too young to know he shouldn’t cry in front of his patients. The “why” and the “what did we do wrong” were far behind me when the other mourners made their way out of the cemetery and I watched Mattie’s light blue casket descend into the ground.
I wanted to follow it.
Part of me did.
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That’s sad and beautifully written.
Thank you very much.
Jeff recently posted..Six Sentence Sunday #10
Oh God. Heartwrenching six.
Thank you.
Jeff recently posted..Six Sentence Sunday #10
Those last two lines are so simple and as an above poster said so heart wrenching. Just wonderful.
Tracina recently posted..six sentence sunday
I’m glad you liked it. Thank you.
Jeff recently posted..Six Sentence Sunday #10
OMG – that was wonderful and shattering and beautiful and devastating – those were some powerful six sentences. Excellent.
Denny S. Bryce recently posted..Six Sentence Sunday – Week 43
Thank you for your kind (and embarrassing) words.
Jeff recently posted..Six Sentence Sunday #10
You have managed to get a lot of characterisation into such a small snippet of story. Even the junior doctor is more than just a cut out. I can’t say I enjoyed it, exactly, it’s too serious for that, but it’s a satisfying read.
Elin Gregory recently posted..Six Sentence Sunday
Thanks. There are a lot of things I’ve written that weren’t enjoyable, per se, but definitely worth reading. I’m happy to have gotten at least close to that in these six. Now I just hope the rest of the story fairs as well.
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